Waleed Basyouni – Can Men and Women Be Just Friends – Ask The
AI: Summary ©
The speakers discuss the physical and emotional dynamics of relationships, including physical and mental attributes, and how they can be beneficial for society. They touch on the concept of "immigrational boundaries" between men and women, and how it can be beneficial for society. They also discuss the importance of smile for social security and the responsibility of men and women to be careful when flirting. The conversation touches on "people's responsibility" and the potential loss of one's freedom due to "quarantine" and "people's loss of freedom."
AI: Summary ©
Salam aleykum sheikh, so there is a question
about you know the relationship between boys and
girls or men and women and People saying
you know men and women can be friends
or boys and girls can be friends in
a mixed environment Let's say schools or things
like this so Can can boys and girls
or men and women be really friends like
friends in?
What they call lab, you know platonic sense
like the innocent sense can they be friends
So a Quran and the Sunnah and our
religion defined the relationship between men and women
as brothers and sisters And there is a
big huge difference between when I see a
woman and I see she's my sister and
my friend Mm-hmm because when you say
sister or brother you give that sanctioned sanctioned
Like a sacred type of yeah, thank you.
Yes.
Yeah, right for for the relationship There's a
limit.
I cannot cross especially when it comes to
the the natural Feeling that a male and
a female will have towards each other and
gravity to each other's Between you know, this
is my sister's my brother that basically guide
what kind of relationship?
Okay, if we talk about friendship and the
sons a brotherhood and sisterhood Yes, almost my
daughter said well, you know, I mean not
about them.
Oh, yeah And oh, yeah, it means they
love one another they support one another that
care for one another protect one another So
and that's what friends do too.
So in that general sense.
Yes, but any Private strong private close relationship
Between a man and woman who are not
mahram to each other's is not allowed And
we mentioned that in one of our resolutions
at Amjad a simple Muslim Jewish North American
Are you it up?
That's who see you being original?
Well, they're mahram.
You know, I don't know So and that
basically a guidelines that we should hold into
it Y'all Hassan Basri, that's a harmony.
I'm Raul.
I'll continue to tell him how quiet don't
be alone with a woman Even if you
are teaching her the Quran you know and
Yeah, any in a piece of a solemn
warn us that the woman can be fit
not to men and Also, not because women
are in themselves fit.
No, but also men be fit not to
women as well And because the shape on
use that natural Feeling that any male have
towards a female female out towards a male,
you know Can use this to corrupt the
intention and why there is more emphasis and
men versus woman You know, there is a
I saw once kind of a social study
was made Between an interview in universities between
Boys and girls and most of the girls
said yes, we can be friend just friend.
Most of the boys said no Men are
physically stim stimulated My woman's are emotionally stimulated
So that's why women can fall into the
harm and to forbid a relationship when there
is a close interactions When there is a
start like, you know feelings and It takes
long time Versus male, they are physically stimulated
just by the look just by the Simple
interacting can can can basically maybe the person's
fallen Men fall in love from first sight
way more than woman, you know women can
fall in love But most of woman will
really fall in love when she feel how
he deal how he treats her how he
makes her feel And she thought like interacting
with the person So that's why it is
important for you Not to treat we don't
want the community in society To see men
and women are just a sexual object and
you know, and like we can't be friend
We cannot have any type of brotherhood sisterhood
and woman has to be like luck up
somewhere and complete Segregation between men and women,
you know, that's not how society function, you
know, I think there is a respectful Good
relationship can be exist between men and women
with boundary clear boundaries And with this I
think that will be a healthy model that
we can provide for the world So depends
how how we read the word yeah friend
I think the word brothers ancestors can be
a very good way of Framing the relationship
between men and women, right?
I don't know if we if this I
mean I can really Go further in this
When you see a woman smile at you,
what do you think as a human being
as a man and when at this age
I smile back Of course I Let's say
you are a teenager and This pretty girl
smiles at you.
What what what's what's your thought as a
teenager?
As a teenager, I want to tell you
something I'm because smile you she just like
you and she's like all crazy about no
She just some people just smile some people
just have a friendly thing not all Marshall.
She's she's hitting on me Maybe you're not
like Superman, you know or spider-man, you
know, she's hitting on you Some people just
have this idea that's that's not true and
but if there is a kind of seductions
and kind of you know Just be normal.
I would say just have a normal smile
and move on.
I understand it.
I mean Because I studied smiles and Sometimes
when when a woman gets into an environment
with with many people in it She wants
to smile to feel safe.
And that's that's very true.
Mm-hmm.
You know, she wants to smile to feel
safe So when she smiles at a person
doesn't mean that yeah, you know, she's been
thinking about that person Yeah, right and that's
but the problem with boys and I was
a boy at one point you know like
a young man and yes, I really translated
women smiling at me as Hey, I'm I'm
really interesting and I'm really You know interested.
Yeah interesting.
Oh like yeah, like she sees me as
an interesting person But I never knew that
okay because in in as a teenager in
in that mentality You're just only thinking about
yourself in a way So you you see
how you you know affect others, especially from
the opposite gender I think also culture play
a major right like when I smile in
certain country and I go and I smile
just to a brother okay, he will like
Why are you smiling?
Like yeah, what do you want?
Especially if you go to Jordan?
I was taking a picture and some for
driver license in the country and it's my
exit.
Don't smile You take an official actually, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, you know It's like your teeth is
not aura.
You can show it.
You know, it's okay, you know, I like
but So what I'm saying is also culture
in America here in West smiling is nobody
really even teenagers They don't unless it's a
seductive smile You know also you can tell
Somebody smiled the way the tone the position
the way flirt, you know, right?
So if you flirt with someone it can
be it's right to send them.
So people people know the different But what
I what I'm saying is for the sisters
to be careful sometimes Especially very good point,
you know when you when you see a
teenager.
Yeah Easily misread you can easily be misread
by especially boys who you know are just
now struggling with their hormones and and and
so but Some sister would say sure it's
not my problem.
It's your problem guys You know, why would
you like force me to be not myself
because you guys have a problem You know
testosterone is very high.
That's your problem as a boy and on
my problem as a girl So but I
want to say something for the argument.
I want to say that yes I understand
that nobody asking you not to be yourself
But also there is there is a collective
responsibility between all of us very good.
Yes in Islam It's not in you know,
and if you don't believe in Islam and
the structure of Islam, you might say something
like that But if you know, what's Islam
Islam is is we all work together.
We all help one another and we care
about each other Protecting each other that's not
it's not about me and I don't care
about anybody else.
That's not the attitude of a Muslim Yes,
you know so but also in Islam does
not say that I have to be Bond
and and tight because I know because of
some but no you still have a space
of your freedom You can smile you can
be good you can be but you have
to be also understood what all what are
we all what you trying?
To say share and we were saying that
just be smart Yeah, that's it just we
we ask you to be smart, you know
Because in the end of the day you
want your own protection you want your own,
you know, just be smart I cannot take
evil away from people.
I Cannot take that Evilism and thoughts from
everybody so I have to deal with it,
right?
It's like if I have money, you know,
and I just show it off and like
I'm not gonna say it's your problem that
you have a problem with stealing No, I'll
still protect my money protect and I'll put
it in a position which can be somebody
cross the line and and reach out And
touch it.
I Protected same thing with your own body
with your own reputation with your just be
smart, you know balance this You don't need
to go into the area where you lose
your freedom and these lose your your freedom
of choice But in the same time just
be smart be careful And I think I
know and this is established in Islam by
you know, lowering the gaze You know limiting
the interaction to like necessary So it's but
you don't lower the gate exactly.
Yeah, right He didn't say just lower the
gaze and for you to wear whatever you
want now, you know, it's both of them
Thank you.
Thank you.
I think that's a very good discussion by
the way